Saturday, August 22, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Creating Confidence
Module #9
Creating Confidence
For many of us writing a bio can be difficult. The following is a step-by-step guide to help you write a professional biography.
1. List everything you can think of that you have done in your life including training, experiences, insights etc.
managed restaurants
raised a child
overcame abuse both in childhood home and now divorced husband
owned a business
successful career transition
renovated my home
licensed insurance broker
MM intensive course
Girl Guides / Pathfinders
Learned to play piano and French horn
Was fired
Completed one year of a two yr of Interior Design Course
Completed on year of a two yr of a Multi Media Course
Pasted 1st part of the Canadian Securities Course
Still in love with my partner of 14 yrs
Traveled to Wales, California, Halifax, Florida, Lexington, Cancun, PEI, New Brunswick, Bahamas
Toastmaster member
How to win friends and influence people
The Master Game
The Wealth Barber
Quiet Leadership
Celestine Prophecy
King James Bible
Every Stephen King novel (almost)
Beatles
Frank Sinatra
BIO draft
A little about me
I’ve officially been involved in Life Coaching for 2 years, unofficially for as long as I can remember. I am a self committed life long student of the accredited school International Coach Academy. I coach positive Life Transitions. Examples include; change in career, change in address, divorce, loss of a friend or loved one, whether through death or other means, parents in the throes of the teenage years, teens in the throes of their parents seemingly incapability of understanding where they, the teen is coming from, personal development focus and a resolution coach.
My background is varied but Customer Service has been a consistent and quite extensive component throughout my working life, including Senior Management within the Service Industry, consistently achieving high standards in Customer Service and employee relations. I had my own small Financial Coach Business; I worked retail, call centers, Executive Assistant to CEO’s right through to Nurses’ Aid in a Senior’s home.
Currently I am a Program Assistant for a Neurology Program. I assist people who have been referred to our program due to a head or neck injury. It is with overwhelming gratitude that I am told on a regular basis how much I have helped, how much I have eased their time throughout the assessment. What do I do to help? I listen. I greet them everyday by their name, with a smile and tone voice that says “It’s great to see you today!” The human spirit just soaks that up, just like a plant being watered. Similar to watching the leaves returning to their natural luster you can literally see the human spirit glow. It is that very first daily exchange with our clients that is my most rewarding.
My recreational time is just as varied as my working life. I fancy myself as an amateur artist. My husband started my career with some acrylic paints and a couple 8 x 10 canvas boards. To date, I am no Monet and nor will I ever be but none-the-less all of our paintings are proudly displayed in our “art gallery” (the landing at the top of the stairs). My latest hobby is mosaics and digital photography. I will mosaic most anything, trivets, frames, vases and bowls. We just recently picked up a digital 35mm camera and I just love it. It’s so great to at last have some awesome pictures. Next photo shop!
My vast array of work experiences also gives me first hand knowledge of what it takes to get through change, whether it be self chosen, or change that you have found thrust upon you. It is my belief and my passion that all change is for a reason and while difficult, what emerges, if you work on it, is a lifetime of personal growth and self-given rewards.
This passion I have allows me to see the value of the required change and it will also aid me in supporting you. It is my understanding, my positive thought encouragement, my humour, my genuine enthusiasm and my belief in you that will play as major contributors to supporting and assisting you to a successful outcome.
I encourage you to embrace change, I encourage you to give me a call and prove to yourself that you are ready, that you are serious, after all General George S. Patton was quoted saying “pressure makes diamonds.” I encourage you to embark on your journey of growth and change and to capture your very own Positive Focus.
I had a difficult time writing my bio but since then I am feeling more confident and that is thanks to my Peer Coach who reminded me to remember and know the audience that I am writing for.
Cheers
Lila
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Advanced Coaching Classes
Monday, January 26, 2009
Advanced Coaching - Enthusing
Learning Outcomes
Understanding of core coaching tools and techniques.
Understanding of and ability to apply ICA Power Tools to personal situation.
Understanding of the Coaching process.
Ability to develop a coaching model.
Module #2
Enthusing
To enthuse is to energize the client to take that important step in the direction they are envisioning their life will go. The following are examples of when to use the enthusing technique:
Client is afraid to change jobs.
Client is unable to speak their truth.
Client is not feeling supported in their relationships.
Client is holding him or herself back from doing something that would bring them great joy.
Client is afraid to stand up to someone who is manipulating or dominating them.
When you Enthuse you make an emotional connection with the client. Clients “feel’ your enthusiasm as much as they respond to your actual words. If you think of positive energy as a fuel that powers action, enthusing could be described as giving the client a “top up” of just enough positive energy to help them move into action. Some examples of language that can be used to enthuse someone are:
I know you can do this!
This is exciting!
I think you’re capable of more than that!
You’ve got what it takes!
Why not ask for double that? You’re worth it!
How would your life be different today, if people around you Enthused you instead of got angry at you for everything they wanted?
Life today would be different. I have always been a positive thinker for others, but never allowed myself to trust that positive nature. Until recently, with the help of ICA and a few other influences, I have learned to embrace that positive outlook for myself. If I had had more enthusing in my past, I feel it would have empowered me to believe in myself, just that much sooner.
Can you think of an example of when someone has tried one of the negative techniques to get you to change? How successful were they?
Guilt was my mother’s favorite weapon,
Coercion was many a boyfriends’ method, and as a result I recall doing the request with a grudge, a negative dark cloud over me. While I don’t remember an exact incident I do recall that feeling.
What are some other areas you can think of where clients can benefit from the technique of Enthusing?
Anywhere fear exists, anywhere a UAC exists.
I now have a new challenge for myself -
I want to pre-read all the modules and have at least 3 questions/thoughts that Iwill bring up in the class. - Wish me well!
Light & laughter
Lila
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Coaching Foundation Thoughts & Next Steps
I completed the 10 questions for the Welcome Package and I quite like them - what I like is the focus on the positive, asking what the client has that they are happy with not asking what is wrong or missing, which in my perspective is focusing on the negative. I like them because it shows to me that I have been paying attention to the influences around me. It has been such a great week. Onward ho....
Light & laughter
Lila
Power Listening
Power Listening “If all we did was listen to our clients, it would be enough” - Coachfucious.
Reflection & Application
1 What are five things that a coach needs to listen for with a client?
2 Which of the listening strategies in this unit do you actively apply and which would you
like more practice with?
3 How difficult is it to forego judgements and opinions while listening to a client?
4 Why can consoling be a problem when listening to a client?
5 What is the difference between “rambling and venting” and genuinely unpacking an
issue?
6 What do you think it means to “listen from the heart”?
1 a: what is being said
b: what isn’t being said
c: the emotion
d: the pauses – reluctance
e: the rate of speech – fast or slow
2 I use Active Listening all the time – but long silent pauses make me uncomfortable, so I feel that I need to work on Power Listening.
3 Sometimes it is difficult, but it is also quite easy for me to check my perspective and refocus on the client.
4 It maybe taken as condescending and not sincere.
5 If someone is venting the tone of voice maybe elevated and rate increased, and generally blame is being placed for the issues at hand. Unpacking would be slower and I think the tone would be even; there may even be a retrospective kind of retelling.
6 To listen from the heart is to be present, focusing on what the client is saying and not on what I am about to say next.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
The Trial Session
Trial Session “Trial sessions? I do enthusing sessions” - Coachfucious.
Reflection & Application
Before you look at the suggestions below, try this exercise.
Pretend you're the first coach on the planet. This way, you don't have a Perspective of
trying to get it right! You're simply looking for what works best. Write down one to four
objectives for your trial session. What do you want to achieve by the end of the session?
What is an outcome you want? What is an outcome your prospective client might want?.
Now quickly check for Alignment. Could you comfortably share these objectives with
your prospective client? If not, revise them.
1 To give a strong sense of how coaching works.
2 To represent and establish Coaching as a viable and respectable profession.
3 To gain a client – to gain another trial session (referral)
4 To end the call with clarity on all issues, and excited or grateful – no matter if the client decides to use my service or not.
Discussion
What are two advantages for inviting someone to do a month of coaching versus a trial
session? What are the disadvantages?
1 A short goal could be reached and this may enthuse the client to continue.
2 The better acquainted we would become thereby opening more connections between myself and the client – which, even if the client ends at the end of the month – referrals are more probable.
A trial session would reduce the time spent. Although the advantages of the month scenario are strong, I wouldn't want to do it all the time. I would reserve the month trial as a negotiating tactic for the cost of my service for those that want a coach but can't see the total value of being coached.
The disadvantages – The time lost, I suppose, but even if the client doesn’t continue the time you spent is valuable for the experience and the potential of referrals. I can’t see any disadvantages.
More to come....
Getting Started - The Plan Unfolds...
Getting Started Starting your coaching practice.
Reflection and Application
What would you like to do for people? What gifts do you have to offer, as a coach, that
can make people become empowered?
I enjoy listening – I enjoy encouraging – I enjoy people. I usually see the positive side of things and can share that with those that are open to listening. People respond to me because they feel that I am genuine in my attentiveness. It is common for people to open up more and reveal things that at times, they themselves did not consciously choose to share. I have been told numerous times that I have a natural quality to making people feel comfortable and appreciated.
Why are you a coach? What is the drive behind coaching for you to make things
happen for people?
Good question. I am a people person. I like to assist. It just feels natural but by declaring and striving to be a Coach, as I have discovered is about learning and being the best that I can be and I guess I am my biggest project. Self discovery, and knowledge are two things that spark my engine and when that happens, I just want to share with everyone. The drive is desire, gratitude, compassion and the “aha moments”, yet to be shared.
Name three specific goals you would like to achieve in your coaching practice by the
end of six months. What business structure do you want to have in place? How many
clients do you want to coach? What revenue target are you aiming for? When do you
want to graduate from International Coach Academy? Be specific in your answers.
1. Completed 2 peer coaching sessions, working on the 3rd.
2. Business name, cards. Letterhead, welcome package, coaching model complete.
3. Have myself in position to graduate Dec 2009.
Once I have school complete, I feel then I will start marketing myself – right now I am still not sure of my niche. Upon return from California – beginning of September I will enlist the help of my husband to get my web site up and running.
My revenue targets, in an effort to be realistic-
- by the year 2014 - $1500.00/month – based on an average charge of $200.00/client/month I would need to be coaching 8 people/month, which equates to 32 hours per month/ 8 hours per week.
- By the year 2016 I would like Coaching to be my full time occupation.
What will be your three-month milestone?
My three-month milestone is May 1st at which time I wish to have two peer clients at the 10th session mark. I myself to be in my 10th week with a peer coach of my own.
This is dedicating 3hrs/week to coaching and being coached. I need to chart out the next few months to ensure I meet my 6 month goal of being in position to graduate by Dec 2009.
What are your three biggest barriers or fears around becoming a coach? How about
building a successful practice? Bring these up with your coach in the first two weeks of
class so you can be clear about it yourself and get the support and help you need.
My biggest barrier is the time, there are very few hours in the day and I find it difficult to maintain balance between family, household chores, social demands, and just the general day to day life that requires my attention and time.
What are your top three objectives in building a successful practice? Post your answer
on the discussion board.
My top three (in no particular order)
1. Helping others achieve their balance.
2. Having a home based business.
3. Having a home based business, I feel will allow me to give more and to get more involved with my community; therefore my objective is to become more proactive within my community.
Describe your “doubt loop.”
My doubt lies in my lack of a degree. I have talked to many people, including one of my peer coaches and while all agree that it is not a requirement, I still contend that at first glance potential clients may turn away from me simply based on the fact that I do not have any letters following my name. Now thinking about it, it may be the realization that I will have to work a bit harder than those with degrees, but once I get the wheel turning, word of mouth and years of experience will eventually win over any kind of degree. However, I feel that it is a foreseeable measure that I will pursue a degree, for a two-fold reason, to eradicate this doubt but for growth of myself and my business.
How will you break the cycle and begin to feel confident about coaching?
I think the first step in breaking my doubt loop is to graduate from ICA.
That is my main focus - graduating - from there I trust all else will fall into it's rightful spot.
Light & laughter
Lila
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Happy 2009!
I have taken this week off to concentrate on my course and what an awesome gift I have given myself - the gift of acknowledging my dream - the gift of time - the gift of myself to myself.
I am very grateful.
May 2009 be a very happy, prosperous and wonderful year.
Practical Ethics & Legalities
Ethics How to have an ethical coaching practice.
Discussion
How do you determine what is ethical?
First I would determine if the issue at hand was in alignment with my values and for further clarity I would refer to ICA & ICF’s ethical guidelines.
What could hold someone back from doing something that is right?
Fear is a great motivator for holding someone back. Fear of losing a friend, fear of retribution, and any number of fears could stop someone from doing the right thing. Peer pressure and of course good old greed could also be factors.
How would you go about setting an ethical standard when something doesn’t feel right?
I would first ask a question “Do you feel that this action is ethical?” and it would go from there. If I felt that I was getting a responsive attitude I would go over the ICA & ICF ethical standards, as a reminder and platform in which an agreed upon standard could then be set. If I wasn’t getting an open responsive attitude, I would be aware that some fears are putting up resistance and I would see if I could get to a better understanding. If all came to an impasse, I would state politely that I felt that the actions were unethical and that unless the action stopped that our relationship would have to end and possibly reporting the actions to the appropriate faction.
What will you use to help you develop your ethical framework?
I will use my owe core values, that which I have learned through ICA, and experience.
In you opinion, what is the ethical way to handle each of the situations in the reading? What supports your decision?
In the case of the telecomm company Mr. Z – within the coaching session we would have to explore his options concerning his employment. If the outsourcing was something that Mr. Z. could not come to terms with – then we would explore how best to end his employment. This is all confidential with Mr. Z. What supports my decision is the previously agreed coaching structure, goals and objectives set out by the employer and myself the coach.
● You get the sense that your client is ready to move on and no longer needs coaching, but
you need the money the client is paying you.
First I would ask the client if that is in fact how they are feeling and if they concur with my sense then I would have to put any such temptation in check and remind myself that I am here to act in the client’s best interest and terminate the agreement.
● Your client shares with you that they are having an affair with their boss.
If this affair does not align with the client’s values or if it would impede the client from being accountable within the coaching agreement then it is a topic that would need exploring. However if it does not conflict or impede, I myself would have to suspend all judgement and continue with the coaching relationship.
● You are employed in an organization to coach a boss and his five direct reports. While
the boss seeks support to decide which of the 5 to promote, your coaching of the direct
reports reveals some serious weaknesses on the part of one of them that the boss is
unaware of.
As my coaching agreement with the employer would clearly state that all coaching sessions are confidential and I would only report that which is within the agreed upon parameters. If this weakness is part of the parameters then it would be my ethical duty to report it to the employer, if it does not then it is a confidentional matter.
● A client shares with you that they are involved in an illegal money making activity in their
workplace.
Within my Code of Ethics – I have stated that if a client tells me that they are involved in an illegal matter then it is my ethical duty to inform the correct authorities and the coaching relationship will be immediately terminated.
● You coach a senior manager of a company over a long period of time and develop a
strong rapport with her. Later on you are asked to be part of an interview panel for a job
and your client is one of the applicants.
I feel that I would have to decline the invitation due to a conflict of interest.
● Your client likes you so much they want you to coach their husband / wife?
While I would be delighted by the compliment – I feel that it would be a conflict of interest and I would gladly refer the wife to a different coach.
Can you think of any other ethical dilemmas that a coach might be faced with? How
would you resolve these ethical dilemmas?
I think that any number of situations can and will come about and each one will have to be dealt with as the situation demands. However the most important ingredient is to have a well thought out and documented Code of Ethics. To always be clear in my communications and to abide to my values and belief system.
Ethically yours...
Lila
